Painful Grace
by Spirkluva11
Summary: Jim gets captured by aliens who torture him for revenge. When Jim bonds with the leader of the aliens, he realizes that he's been feeling headaches and sore and horrible after he got back on the Enterprise. He doesn't know what's wrong with him... at all.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! This is a nice request that I recieved from Carlo (who really doesn't believe I'm thirteen. ;D) and it's really complex and conveluted. How I know? I've read the prompt, and all you get is this little beginning to the main idea. Hopefully the rest of the story won't be so gory (this isn't gory, now is it?), and more... no gory.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy this really short chapter, because I didn't feel the need to make it so long. Enjoy this story~!

* * *

A blood-curdling scream bolted out of the young man's throat as he felt pain shoot through his whole body. This had been going on for hours, the pain growing worse and worse by each passing minute.

Jim let out a lung full of gasps and coughs as he recoiled from blast he just received. Blood dripped out of his mouth, dripping onto the cold concrete flooring. His eyes wanted to roll back in his head, but another hard whip clashing against his back prevented them from doing so.

"You shalt not sleep."

"Fuck off."

Another hard whip to the back. The crackling noise filled the small well-lit room, showing all the red blood dripping from his back onto the floor. Jim let out another strangled gasp, as he couldn't breath, blood was filling his lungs.

"I will never forgive you for what you have done to me James T. Kirk." The alien began, circling Jim who was shackled to the ceiling and floor. Long heavy chains that were connected to the ceiling overhead held his arms up, while his feet were shackled to the floor. Blood was dripping from his back onto the floor from the chain whipping at his back, while blood was falling from his mouth onto his feet or his chest. "You have let my children perish, and have murdered my beloved wife."

"I didn't do of those fucking lies! Let me go you piece of shit!" Jim screamed, pulling and tugging at the chains with all his might to just grab the retarded alien and strangle him.

The alien's mouth – which was vertical instead of horizontal like every other mouth he'd ever seen – twisted itself into a grin. "Ah ah ah, you shalt be doing nothing. We have captured you, and we have told your vessel if it were to try and save you, we would blow it up, and kill you. It's a loose-loose Captain. What is there to do?"

"Do fucking die in a hole." Jim hissed with a scowl as he felt the chain whipping at his back again. He let out a screech, cursing in pain for the umpteenth time in the last few hours. His body slumped, and he let his head roll limp in its socket. He felt the freezing cold alien fingers wrapping around his jaw though. His head was pulling up, and his eyes rolled up to meet with the alien's. "You really do not wish to make me mad Captain James T. Kirk. You would not prefer the consequences."

"Fuck off." Jim growled, spitting in the alien's face with a small cocky smirk growing on his face, as the leader alien wiped off his spit with his sleeve in utter annoyance. "I am warning you. You may silence now, and die quietly, or I will make you suffer for the rest of your meaningless life." The alien growled, getting up close and personal with Jim's face again.

Jim spat.

Alien growled.

Jim chuckled.

The alien grabbed Jim's jaw, pulling his head up, and then pushing their foreheads together. "I have warned you."

Their foreheads were pushed together harder, making Jim wince slightly. The alien's bright yellow sharp eyes met with Jim's, locking on and making Jim not able to look away. The alien removed his fingers, and as much as Jim's brain told him to spit or move his head again, his head wouldn't move. The alien brought his hands up to Jim's ears, hooking his pinkies on both of them, before digging his two other fingers in the skin beneath Jim's jaw. His pointer finger came, and grabbed the ends of his mouth, hooking into it and staying there as his thumbs pressed together on his chin. Jim was frozen throughout the whole movement. He couldn't move, and was only breathing.

"Bonding through pain and though misery." The alien growled, and without a pause, Jim replied with the same words without thinking.

"Death and Life join hand in hand, as I approach your mind with my own choices and thoughts."

Jim said the same thing a second after the alien, cursing inwardly at how he was helpless against whatever this dude was doing to him.

"The sun rises, the moon sets, the stars shine brightly in the midnight sky, and all I can do, is bond with you." The alien finished with a huge grin as he dug his fingers into the soft skin underneath Jim's jaw, making him shout the last line.

The alien's head and hands vanished. All Jim heard was screaming and shouting, mostly in the alien's native tongue. He tried to keep his eyes open, tried to see what they were making so much noise about…

He caught the glimpse of a pointy ear and a black blob of hair. Along with: 'Are you injured Jim?' before he blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Hey hey guys! WOW, sorry for NO updates. If you guys really want to read any small one-shots that I write (which is actually quite a few) you can go to my DEVIANTART: luigiluva11 .deviantart . com (of course with no spaces~)

Otherwise, I've got nothing to add here. I hope you enjoy the new chapter! ;DDD

* * *

Jim awoken to the sound of monitors beeping, and somebody's sharp voice breaking through the almost quiet sound of the room he was in. After laying there silently for a while more, he processed that he was in the Medical Bay, and it was Bones who was breaking the silence.

"Jim, are you awake?"

Jim tried to crack open his eyes, but found it was too bright, so he simply layed there and nodded his head slightly. He could still hear someone shouting in the distance, so he figured it was Spock who was talking to him. He let out a small dry chuckle, even if it hurt his insides. "'Mm fine Mr. Pointy Ears…" he grumbled.

"Shit Jim, I'm not that fucking green-blooded hobgoblin!"

Jim managed to crack one of his eyes open, before seeing a white blob, with a blue blob on him, and a brown blob on top. So it was Bones. Jim tried to sit up, but found that his back hurt horribly when he bent it. He hissed in pain, flopping back down. "Wha happen?"

"Fucking lucky man you are." McCoy growled, pulling out a hypo from his belt, and sticking it painlessly in Jim's arm. "Pointy-eared bastard came in right at the good time. Fucking aliens shackled you, whipped you, made my life as a doctor harder."

Jim let out another sigh as he tried to sit up again. This time however, he felt a hand pushing him back down without any words. "You've been out for four days Jim. You're healing fine."

Jim managed to peel open one eyelid, and let the gruffy face of McCoy come into view. "Four days?" he asked quietly, letting the realization of it all soak into his very… very in pain head. "You mean, Spock's had to take care of our mission without me?"

McCoy frowned, grabbing some of the new clean gauze from Chapel who was holding it out on a tray. Chapel looked like she had been blushing brightly a few seconds ago, while she informed the doctor that Spock had come to check up on Jim's health. McCoy grumbled something about 'green blooded hobgoblin always barging in every two seconds' but Jim didn't listen that well. As soon as he finally cracked open his other eye, and managed to focus them so he could see, he realized that he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

The shoulder that wasn't beside McCoy, or Chapel.

He rolled his head over to see that Spock finally realized he was awake, his eyes widening a fraction of an inch, before his stoic face was back on. "Captain you—"

"Call me Jim."

"Jim, you are awake."

"I can see that."

Spock's gaze traveled down on Jim's body, before staying on his chest. Jim – totally confused as why Spock was staring at him – looked down to see huge cuts that were still trying to heal under the bloody gauze McCoy was working on getting off. He groaned slightly, letting his head flop back on the pillow which really made his ears ring for some reason. "Those fucking aliens scared my beautiful chest, didn't they Bones?"

"I'm not sad to say so, but yes Jim. You'll have huge amounts of scaring all over your chest and back thanks to them." McCoy mumbled, putting new pieces of gauze on his chest. "They're pretty fucking deep."

"Jim, I would like to speak to you about what has happened in the past four days of my temporary captaincy." Spock said, slightly leaning towards Jim's bed, his arms from being beside his Captain to intertwined fingers on his lap.

"Go ahead. Did you finish our current mission without me?"

"Indeed. Once Dr. McCoy had assured me of your health being adequate, warped us away from the alien's planetoid, and towards the Smallilian's planetoid. During our mission, we made peace with the leader, eventually receiving the needed crystals from the center of the planet." Spock explained, and Jim found it amusing that he went into detail about it. Jim didn't _need_ a full explanation, he would have been happy with a 'yes'.

"Glad to hear that the mission went fine without Captain Awesome Sexy Pants."

Spock's lips slightly dipped down at the sentence, making his brow furrow. Which obviously made Jim's smile just grow wider. The only thing that wasn't so great, was the obvious pain in his fucked up chest and back, but there was a searing pain in his whole head. He didn't think he was having a migraine. James T. Kirk does not get migraines. He didn't mention it to McCoy though, seeing as he didn't think it was so bad. He just needed to sleep a little more, or maybe drink some water.

"Can I get some water?" he asked, waving his right hand around in the air for no reason. Spock was the first to stand, nodding his head and saying he would get it, before almost sprinting off to go get the water. McCoy was done with the chest gauzes, so he told Chapel to go get some more for Jim's back, for that was probably in need of switching again.

"Again?" Jim asked. "You mean you've been changing these for four days and I haven't woken up yet?"

"You were in a fucking coma Jim, you don't wake up from comas because some people are doing crazy shit to you." McCoy groused, helping Jim roll over onto his chest so that he could fix up his back. Once he was on his chest, Jim let out a small grunt of pain, smashing his face into the crook where his elbow bent. "Damn pointy-eared bastard was looming over your bedside for days. He only left to attend to some current Captain shit, but he didn't even sleep. He may be a fucking Vulcan Jim, but not even those stoic fucked up creatures can go over 95 hours of no sleep. It doesn't work like that."

"He sat here even when everybody else was sleeping?" Jim asked quietly, bringing his mouth out so that he could be heard. He didn't see or hear McCoy answer, but he knew it was yes.

Jim silently wondered if he would sit next to Spock's bedside all day if their roles were switched. Of course, he wouldn't be awake for as long, but he'd still be there next to him… hopefully. Jim would like to think that Spock was one of his best friends (with Bones just being higher than him because… he's Bones.), because Spock was very valuable to both his crew, and him.

Speaking of the very Vulcan, he appeared again with a glass of water, with Chapel sticking to him like glue. It was sort of funny to see the young nurse falling head over heels for the stoic emotionless Vulcan, but also slightly sad, because he knew that Spock couldn't love.

Jim took the water from the Vulcan silently, smiling softly at both him and Chapel, before gulping down the entire glass. He was hoping that would help his headache a little. He handed Spock the glass, who handed it over to Chapel, before he clasped his hands behind his back.

"You can't go on duty before these heal a little more Jim." McCoy stated, as if he knew what Jim was thinking about. "There's no way I'm letting your ass out of here till you're healed."

Jim let out an annoyed sigh. "Like it's that bad Bones. It's only some scratches on my back and on my chest anyways." Ok fine, he was lying when he said that, he was also having some pretty gnarly headaches, but he would never tell McCoy that. That would just get him in more trouble, and less days he would be on the Bridge. Plus some screaming. A lot of screaming.

"Spock said that the fucking alien melded with you or some other fucking shi—"

"What the doctor is trying to describe," Spock looked over at McCoy with a raised eyebrow, "is that I am aware the leader of the hostile life forms has melded with you Captain."

Jim let out a huff of air. "Ok Spock, seriously, in English."

The eyebrow that was once raised fell into a not-scowl. As if Spock knew he was speaking English, and that duh, the Captain is obvious a moron. "He might have placed a bond of which will cause you pain."

"I think you stopped him in time." Jim assured with a small smile before the smile swooped down to a frown when McCoy started poking at the deep wounds on his back. "Bones!" he cried out.

"Shut up." McCoy simply growled, calling Chapel over to get him some cloves. Doing so, Jim looked up to see Spock looking over at McCoy blankly. He silently wished that Spock showed more emotion than a rock sometimes so he could tell what was happening.

"God dammit." The doctor murmured, snapping his cloves on, and bending down to look closer at the wounds. Jim watched as Spock strode out of his eyesight. Great. Now everyone was staring at his back, and nobody would tell him why. "What is it?"

"That fucking alien." McCoy groused, snapping his gloves off after he had poked at the deep lashes some more, making Jim have to bite his arm to keep from screaming. "That whip was crawling with those damn parasites. We'll have to decontaminate those lashes or the damn things will get infected."

Spock appeared in his ray of vision again. Chapel did too, she was carrying over a chair from god knows where, and set it down beside Spock next to Jim's bed. She nodded her head, before she scampered off again. Spock looked down at the chair, before repositioning it, and then sitting in it. "I hope you have fun commanding the Enterprise while I'm cooped up in here."

"You are not a chicken Jim."

"You know perfectly well what I mean."

Spock's eyebrow shot up once again. "Though I do understand the Terran metaphor, you shall not be in here for longer than necessary." Jim watched as Spock repositioned his right leg before he found his current position was satisfactory. There was something twinkling in the Vulcan's eyes, as if he had a known reason why he wouldn't be there to long. Jim didn't focus on it too long though, he simply looked down.

After a while of dead silence of Jim flinching every so often with McCoy getting new gauze on, Jim asked, "We got any new missions?" He looked up at the Vulcan who was currently interested in his fingernails. "Starfleet has not yet contacted the _Enterprise_ with a new mission Captain. Mr. Scott has been informing me of the need for new warp drives. I have sent the _Enterprise_ on a course to the nearest Star Base to refuel."

Jim let out a small huff of air that was meant he understood. "Guess we'll just be drifting around for a little while, huh?" he asked with a smirk back over at Spock. The man frowned slightly, his brow furrowing. "He have a course set sir, we are not 'drifting around for a little while'."

With a small chuckle, Jim let his eyes close. "Thank you Mister Spock."

Jim drifted into sleep again.

_WHERE IS HE?_

_Jim frantically looked around the Bridge with a fearful look on his face. Why was the Bridge dark? Where was Sulu? Where was Chekov? What about Uhura? He turned in his seat, seeing the back of the Vulcan he knew well._

"_SPOCK!" he yelled. "Why aren't the shields up!"_

_The ship was being hit? Of course it was, that's why he was rocking in his seat. That's why the Bridge wasn't dark, it was flashed in red. He turned back to the helm, seeing buttons being pushed as if hands were actually there… But where were the two men he commanded who were suppose to be getting them out of here?  
_

"_SPOCK!" he yelled again, turning towards the Vulcan. How come he wasn't answering him? "SPOCK!"_

_Finally, the chair turned, and there sat Spock in a fixed seat. "Yessss Captaaaaainnn…?" he asked in a hiss, sounding like a snake. Jim flinched slightly, though this wasn't a time to be worried. "Get those damn shields up!" Spock's head limped down to one side, his shoulders slumping as his body started shaking._

_His head whipped up, his eyes glowing bright red, his face contorted into a wicked grin with the sharpest teeth, and the grossest drool to sit inside his mouth. His body shot up, and Jim found himself pressed against the captain's chair with Spock's hand wrapped around his throat._

"_I'm sorry CAPTAIN." Spock hissed, shouting the last word in his face. "Though you're a problem to me. You're getting in the way of me being in control… me being the captain." Spock's hand pressed down on Jim's throat, and he let out a loud yelp of pain. "You came into my life… came into it and RUINED IT! MURERED my MOTHER! Took away my CAPTAINCY! You let me PERISH in the hands of your DEMENTED doctor FRIEND!"_

_Every time Spock hissed in Jim's face, his hand pressed down on his throat. Jim couldn't breathe… he couldn't see… this was how he was going to die? Being accused for things he didn't do, things that never happened?_

_NO!  
_

_NO!_

_NO NO NO NO NO NO!  
_

_Spock let out a roar, before Jim felt pain in his head. Harsh, horrible, unbearable pain… _

Jim jolted up in bed with a cold fever bursting through his entire was one nightmare. He hadn't had one like that since he was a little kid, and those hadn't been as strange and creepy as that one.

He was still in Med Bay. By the darkness of it, he figured it was the middle of the night. All the other (of the two) patients were sleeping soundly, and Jim found McCoy's office dark. He must have gone back to his quarters for the short amount of actual sleep he got. Aw well, Jim was a Captain of a star ship, he could recover by himself.

He was thirsty. He could get up and get some water by himself too. He sat up with a small grunt of pain, his face flinching as he moved his hand to his chest. He had a raging headache, but he knew it was probably because he was dehydrated.

"I advise you continue to sleep Captain."

Jim could safely say he peed his pants. Spock's voice rang out in the dead silence of the darkness, the sound low and mysterious sounding. "God dammit Spock, could you not make me loose three years of my life?"

Jim's eyes slowly began to focus to the darkness, and he could see that Spock was sitting in the chair by his bedside. He was still in his science blues, which was so typical, but Jim could barely process that he was sitting there in the first place.

"Why are you here Spock?"

"I was merely monitoring your vitals Captain. The Doctor has retired for the night."

Jim simply tilted his head down. He let out a dry chuckle. "I wouldn't stay by your bedside in the middle of the night if our roles were switched. You must realize that."

Jim saw that Spock's mouth tilted downward slightly. "You are my Captain. As your First Officer, it is my duty to make sure you are at your best." He said simply, his hands crossing on his lap. "I would not expect you to favortize my health based simply on my job on this starship."

"You know, I would stay with you when I could though." Jim corrected, sitting up a little better, feeling a little more pain. "But right now, I could just go for some water."

Spock stood after the silent request, before striding off to get some fluids for the honey-haired captain. The man sat there holding his head in his hands. Why did he have so many headaches? He should tell Spock about it, then tell Bones when he wakes up in the morning. Though… that would make him look weak!

McCoy would tell Starfleet about it, which meant that Starfleet would think even worse of him and his crew. That's the last thing he wanted. He wouldn't tell anyone. They were probably side effects to something Bones gave him, or just from the alien bond whatever.

Before he knew it, Spock was standing before him holding out a glass of water. "I assure you Captain, you are healing quite remarkably for your injuries." Jim took the glass without a word, gulping it down before handing it back to the Vulcan. "Yeah well, Bones will keep me here longer than I need to be." He said with a smile playing on his lips. "He's like a second mother to me."

"Indeed." Spock said simply, cocking his head to one side before sitting down. "I advise you continue to sleep captain. If you should awaken again, I shall have water with me."

"Why thank you Spock, I guess I'll have to do the same with you if you ever have some hideous bond placed upon you and some slashes on your own chest." Jim said with a grin on his face, before lying back down. He closed his eyes before rolling over, the last though of his mind was simply drifting in his head. Spock…

With a grunt, Jim opened his eyes to see McCoy, Chapel, and Spock surrounding him. "Ya been healin' faster than expected Jim."

It took a moment for the captain to process that statement, before he let out a pleased sound. "Does that mean I can be out of here by tomorrow?" he asked with a pleading smile. A small nod of the head came from the doctor as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll let you free if you're good today." He toyed with a grin playing on his lips.

The good doctor moved away to collect new gauze, and to check over the other few men who were simply there for check-ups.

Spock was holding a glass of water in his hands, his eyes roaming around the Medical Bay. "I have fluids Captain, if you are thirsty." With that, Jim nodded his head looking over at his First officer with a small smile. He took the glass from him, taking a few sips before handing it back meekly. "Did you sleep a little after my nightmare?" Jim asked.

The Vulcan did not answer. He simply sat there with his head tilted down and the glass in his hands. "I have not received sleep in multiple days Captain. I have meditated, though I have not slept."

"I'm not going to die if you're not constantly observing me Spock." Jim said with a playful grin. "Plus, we're going to have interesting things to do tomorrow, I want you all rested up for tomorrow." With that, Jim looked over at the Vulcan with a playful gleam in his eyes.

Spock stood, setting the water on the small table by Jim's bio-bed. "I shall not disobey your order Captain."

"Jim."

"…Jim."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Welp. Here's the second note for you guys. :) The thing that's keeping me from updating is that I'm working on my _Sniff and Tell_ story, which is supposed to be a really long one-shot. AKA, like five one shots in one. ;D For a complete list of all the stories (I may be) I'm working on you can go to: http:/ luigiluva11. deviantart .com/journal/34736855/ (no spaces)

But the current ones I'm working on include (but are not limited to):  
_Sniff and Tell  
Spock's Love  
Chekov's Observations - Jim...  
Chekov's Observations - Dancing Queen  
_

_Of course though, this doesn't mean I'm not constantly working on other stupid pointless things. Seriously guys, if you want to see all of my works, then GO TO:_

luigiluva . deviantart . com !

~SL


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